Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Rev. Pat Robertson Declares War on God

After today's news conference in which God renounced any connection with the Intelligent Design movement, Rev. Pat Robertson announced on nationwide TV that God should be assassinated. "If he's unwilling to accept responsibility for the human race," Robertson declared, "then I think we should get rid of him and replace him with a super being who is willing to accept responsibility."

Robertson said he would begin efforts to recruit sharpshooters to make up a Christian "hit squad". He said he was unsure what type of weapons would be employed, but promised the hit squad would be armed to the gills with self-righteous piety.

Christian leaders from across the nation condemned Robertson's declaration. "The man has finally fallen off the deep end," stated Rev. Barry Patch of Grover's Peak Baptist Church in Huntsville, MO. "It was bad enough when when he ascribed Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke to divine retribution, but this shows the man has lost all touch with reality."

When reached for comment, God simply stated, "Pat, Bring it On!"


  1. How's it goin today, Trey? You're reefing on the G-man pretty hard! Twice in one day! ;-)

  2. Don't underestimate the power of Pat Robertson. He's been busy eating his age-defying protein pancakes, so he is more than ready to battle God.

    I dig your site btw. I've re-discovered Taoism lately. Good stuff...

  3. Trey, you preparing to write for The Onion?

    Good stuff! LOL!

  4. new orleans mayor ray nagin says god is angry at america. prolly because pat robertson lives here.

    so we get rid of robertson (send him to, say, israel for some old testament-style smiting) and the sun will shine on america once again.

    in someone's name we pray. amen.


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