Why are some people sexual predators? This is a question with no simple and ready-made answers. There is no definitive checklist that can be used to determine who will and who won’t sexually victimize others. And, despite the assumptions of some members of the general public, you can’t easily spot them in a crowd.
For the most part – and I’m not including those predators who are the most violent and antisocial – people who sexually abuse and victimize others are everyday people. Most of their desires, aspirations, dreams and needs are the same as yours and mine. They can be well-educated or uneducated, rich or poor, good looking or not so good looking, kind or mean, and funny or boring.
In general, they DO share two things in common – they are almost always males and, more often than not, they were once the victims of some manner of abuse, particularly sexual abuse. By victim, I don’t necessarily mean that someone directly abused them.
For example, if a father is physically, emotionally, verbally or sexually abusive toward his wife or significant other, the children are still victims too. Though daddy dear may have never laid a hand on them nor touched them in an inappropriate manner, they still have been victimized because they don’t have an adequate role model to show them how a mature father should relate with others.
The male children often grow up with a subconscious belief that violent or sexually exploitive behavior is a-ok and it is the proper means by which the adult male expresses his wants and needs. Conversely, the female children grow up with a subconscious belief that they need to find a man who expresses himself in the same violent or sexually exploitive ways as dear old dad.
It should be very obvious that the best mechanism for reducing the amount of sexual abuse in the world is TO BREAK the cycle of abuse. If more children were afforded the opportunity to grow up in loving and nurturing homes with adequate role models – whether in two-parent, single-parent or extended-family homes – then less of them would continue to incorporate the behavior flaws that lead them from moving from the role of victim to abuser as adults.
Once these flaws have been assimilated into the growing child’s personality makeup, it becomes that much more difficult to remove them. In some cases – particularly true for pedophiles and serial rapists – it becomes virtually impossible.
While I certainly like to believe that every life can be redeemed and rebalanced in relation to the Tao, my experience in this field has certainly challenged that belief.
For the most part – and I’m not including those predators who are the most violent and antisocial – people who sexually abuse and victimize others are everyday people. Most of their desires, aspirations, dreams and needs are the same as yours and mine. They can be well-educated or uneducated, rich or poor, good looking or not so good looking, kind or mean, and funny or boring.
In general, they DO share two things in common – they are almost always males and, more often than not, they were once the victims of some manner of abuse, particularly sexual abuse. By victim, I don’t necessarily mean that someone directly abused them.
For example, if a father is physically, emotionally, verbally or sexually abusive toward his wife or significant other, the children are still victims too. Though daddy dear may have never laid a hand on them nor touched them in an inappropriate manner, they still have been victimized because they don’t have an adequate role model to show them how a mature father should relate with others.
The male children often grow up with a subconscious belief that violent or sexually exploitive behavior is a-ok and it is the proper means by which the adult male expresses his wants and needs. Conversely, the female children grow up with a subconscious belief that they need to find a man who expresses himself in the same violent or sexually exploitive ways as dear old dad.
It should be very obvious that the best mechanism for reducing the amount of sexual abuse in the world is TO BREAK the cycle of abuse. If more children were afforded the opportunity to grow up in loving and nurturing homes with adequate role models – whether in two-parent, single-parent or extended-family homes – then less of them would continue to incorporate the behavior flaws that lead them from moving from the role of victim to abuser as adults.
Once these flaws have been assimilated into the growing child’s personality makeup, it becomes that much more difficult to remove them. In some cases – particularly true for pedophiles and serial rapists – it becomes virtually impossible.
While I certainly like to believe that every life can be redeemed and rebalanced in relation to the Tao, my experience in this field has certainly challenged that belief.
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