Huainanzi - Entry 85

Trey Smith

Mariners who are lost and cannot tell which direction they are headed have only to look at the North Star to find out. Essential Nature is the North Star of human beings. If they have the means of seeing themselves, they will not miss the feelings of others. If they have no means of seeing themselves, they will be agitated and strive in confusion.
~ a passage from The Book of Leadership and Strategy by Thomas Cleary ~

In general, I think this passage is spot on.  However, I don't think the ancient Chinese Masters were familiar with Asperger's Syndrome or other forms of autism.  So, while this idea may apply to most people, it doesn't necessarily apply to us.

I see myself quite fine; it's other people I have trouble with!!

When I use the way I perceive the world as a judge as to what will cause others to feel warm and secure or angry and incensed,  it rarely turns out the way I expect.  I can't tell you the number of times I've tried to express sympathy and support, but it's received as anything but. 

And I can't tell you the number of times that I've created a tempest with someone or a group when that was not my intent by a mile.  Someone will take me aside and point to something I said or did and say, "Now do you understand?"  Most of the time, the answer is no.  For the life of me, I can't understand WHY what I said or did would upset anyone.

If someone said or did the same thing to me, it wouldn't upset me at all.

To read the introduction to this ongoing series, go here.