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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

King of Pain

I hurt...a lot! With my version of fibromyalgia, pain is frequent and can affect multiple areas of the body simultaneously. This week the pain has centered in two such areas: my lower back and my sternum. Because of these two areas of pain, movement is difficult and no position is comfortable.

I will see my therapist this afternoon and I know one of the issues we will discuss is depression. Personally, I don't think I'm clinically depressed -- just run-of-the-mill depressed. Pain has a way of making anyone feel a bit down, but I certainly don't feel hopeless nor do I feel a black veil has fallen on my life. I simply grow tired of constant pain and, knowing it will continue to be my lifelong friend, I get a bit blue from time to time.

It's too bad that I'm not a religious sort. If I were, I could rail against my God for my condition! I could lament the unfairness of my lot and ask such questions as "Why me Lord?"

But I don't ask this question. I realize that, because my body wasn't put together the way it was supposed to be, it's rather natural that I am beset by a myriad of physical ailments. The fact that I have a chromosomal abnormality and was born without a fully developed left hip simply means that problems in adult life are to be expected.

I suppose I could question WHY I popped out of the chute in a not ready for prime time fashion. Yes, I could blame this all on me mum and pa! But I realize that the forming of a human life in the womb is a complicated process and, if the timing is off by a slight hair, not everything will go according to schedule.

If you get right down to it what I find the most amazing is that so many babies are born healthy! When one considers all the complex variables that must take place in an ordered sequence, it's amazing that it comes off without a hitch most of the time.

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