The Bull in the China Shop

We’ve all had dealings with these kinds of people. They view the world as moving too slowly. They believe that everyone but themselves is inept, on the take, dimwitted, shortsighted or a combination of all four. These individuals believe, that to get things accomplished, only a no-holds-barred approach is reasonable. And, not surprisingly, most of these individuals will proudly tell you that they are like “A Bull in a China Shop”.

Frankly, in superficial ways, it’s fun being the bull. You can thrash around all you want. Knock over and break the china – Who cares? It’s not YOUR problem! Hurt a few feelings or ruin a few reputations – So what? It’s not YOUR concern.

Invariably though, the problem identified by the bull personality doesn’t get resolved in the manner they desired or expected. In fact, it is not infrequent that the perceived problem continues on as before with the only change being that the bull has ostracized him/herself from the group.

I had a dear friend who continually behaved like the proverbial bull in a china shop. When things weren’t moving at the speed or in the direction he wanted, he would spring into action. He would do whatever he felt necessary to achieve his desired ends. Quite often, he would defy common ethics to try to get what he wanted, all the while telling himself that it was okay for HIM to bend or break the rules – it was NOT alright for anyone else – because his desired ends were noble.

Our friendship ended because of his continuing smug and self-righteous actions. Again and again, I tried to impress upon him that HOW we try to obtain what we feel is right and fair is just as important as WHAT we are trying to accomplish.

If your goal is peace, you can’t get there through violence. If your objective is honesty, you won’t reach it through dishonesty. If your aim is justice, you won’t ever gain it through injustice. If your purpose is love, hate will push you away from it.

And this represents the great irony of the “bull in the china shop” mentality. Such individuals tend to rail against the inequities of our society, yet use the very same means to try to bring about their lofty visions. What most of them seem incapable of comprehending is that, if you utilize the very same strategy of those you disagree with, you become an adversary of your own self.

In other words, you become the very thing you oppose.