It is not uncommon at all, when we are beset with hurdles or tragedies in our lives, to ask, "Why me?" I consider myself a bit fortunate because this singular question does not dog me. I am sure that when I was a wee lad I most likely posed the question a time or two, but I have not become mired in the unknowable answer.
The way I see it is that troubles and even anomalies are normal. They occur on a regular basis. For every animal or plant born, there are mutations and aspects that aren't in the range of generally acknowledged parameters. Consequently, my abnormalities are part of the normalities of life.
So, while I have escaped the self-pitying question of "Why Me?", there is a question that I do wonder about from time to time: "Why so damn many anomalies in one person?"
While the various medical and mental health professionals I regularly see are constantly trying to update their diagnoses of this odd human specimen (me), some of the labels attached seem to be more fluid than permanent.
Klinefelter's has been definitely established based on my karotype panel and blood tests. Osteoporosis has been clearly demonstrated via x-rays and MRIs.
Beyond that, the rest of my assorted maladies don't have definitive tests that indicate their presence yea or nay. Diagnoses are rendered due to a variety of tools: medical and family history, various types of imaging services, blood tests, cognitive tests, behavioral observations and I'm sure many tools and factors I'm not even aware of.
On the muscular-joint front, my current diagnosis is fibromyalgia. In the past, some of my doctors have had suspicions that I suffered from Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Mixed Connective Tissue Disease and/or at least two other conditions that I don't recall off hand. In my own ongoing research, I recently noted that a great deal of my physical symptoms match up well with Sjögren's Syndrome. I think I will mention this to my primary care physician at next week's appointment.
On the psychological front, my two current working diagnoses are Asperger's Syndrome (autism) and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. One or both are associated with the comorbid conditions of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and a general Anxiety Disorder. In addition, as mentioned in my last post, I have a long-term problem with verbal paraphasia (which typically has an organic cause).
That's a helluva lot of stuff for one person to deal with!!! Several of these disorders and conditions intersect with the others and they tend to reinforce and exacerbate some of the chief symptoms. I often feel like a human being that has been placed in a blender and then poured out after several runs through the chopping and mixing cycles.
So, while I don't dwell on the "Why me?" question, I do frequently ask, "Why so many all at once?"
No one -- not Tao, God or the Great Spaghetti Monster -- seems to provide an adequate answer to the question.
The way I see it is that troubles and even anomalies are normal. They occur on a regular basis. For every animal or plant born, there are mutations and aspects that aren't in the range of generally acknowledged parameters. Consequently, my abnormalities are part of the normalities of life.
So, while I have escaped the self-pitying question of "Why Me?", there is a question that I do wonder about from time to time: "Why so damn many anomalies in one person?"
While the various medical and mental health professionals I regularly see are constantly trying to update their diagnoses of this odd human specimen (me), some of the labels attached seem to be more fluid than permanent.
Klinefelter's has been definitely established based on my karotype panel and blood tests. Osteoporosis has been clearly demonstrated via x-rays and MRIs.
Beyond that, the rest of my assorted maladies don't have definitive tests that indicate their presence yea or nay. Diagnoses are rendered due to a variety of tools: medical and family history, various types of imaging services, blood tests, cognitive tests, behavioral observations and I'm sure many tools and factors I'm not even aware of.
On the muscular-joint front, my current diagnosis is fibromyalgia. In the past, some of my doctors have had suspicions that I suffered from Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Mixed Connective Tissue Disease and/or at least two other conditions that I don't recall off hand. In my own ongoing research, I recently noted that a great deal of my physical symptoms match up well with Sjögren's Syndrome. I think I will mention this to my primary care physician at next week's appointment.
On the psychological front, my two current working diagnoses are Asperger's Syndrome (autism) and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. One or both are associated with the comorbid conditions of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and a general Anxiety Disorder. In addition, as mentioned in my last post, I have a long-term problem with verbal paraphasia (which typically has an organic cause).
That's a helluva lot of stuff for one person to deal with!!! Several of these disorders and conditions intersect with the others and they tend to reinforce and exacerbate some of the chief symptoms. I often feel like a human being that has been placed in a blender and then poured out after several runs through the chopping and mixing cycles.
So, while I don't dwell on the "Why me?" question, I do frequently ask, "Why so many all at once?"
No one -- not Tao, God or the Great Spaghetti Monster -- seems to provide an adequate answer to the question.
That is a lot TRT. :-(
ReplyDeleteFor all you've gone through, continue to go through and will go through, I tell you, you manage some pretty good blogging! :-)
... Zoe ~
P.S. I changed the URL location of my blog. Thought I'd let you know in case you want to adjust it in your blogroll.
Actually, from a somewhat Taoist, or at least Chinese, point of view, it's just fate.
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to me. You teach me to be a more grateful person. Who doesn't need more of that? Keep on with the testing. I hope you find some answers to your questions. I'll be checking back!
ReplyDelete