Facing Up

I have just returned from my most grueling session with my mental health counselor. I've been seeing Bill for over 2 1/2 years and we've established excellent rapport. Yet, despite the fact I feel very comfortable with him, it took me until today to divulge two of my deepest and darkest secrets.

While I am very open and honest on this blog, I have no plans to share what we talked about today. It is a subject I have never shared with anyone before and so I'm not going to share it in this somewhat anonymous medium. Suffice it to say that this mysterious it has bothered me for many years and I've spent a great deal of time and mental energy not wanting to face up to it.

I know I'm not alone. Every person I've ever met has one or more aspects about their self-identity that they don't want to face up to. It seems to be part of the human condition to build vacuous delusions of who we are and what we stand for. Far too often, we don't truly like to look in the mirror because the true reflection looking back at us shreds the definition we have of ourselves.

However, if any person wants the opportunity to realize their true internal nature and full potential, such a person must face up to who they have become -- warts and all. This is my plan in the coming months. I only hope I can maintain the courage to match my present resolve.