from Verse One Hundred SixSeeing how things go, they know how they will wind up. They work for the whole but observe its transformations: when there is change, they adopt forms for it; and when there is movement, they respond to it. By this means, carrying this out all their lives, they are not thwarted by anything.~ Wen-tzu: Understanding the Mysteries~
Back when I was a licensed social worker, my prime task was working with dysfunctional families. It never ceased to amaze me how people could make the same poor choices over and over again, yet they continually anticipated a better result!!
I often worked with women in abusive relationships. Each time one would summons the courage to get away from the current deadbeat partner, they would soon land in the clutches of a new deadbeat. As I worked with them, I would try to point out that they were repeating the same pattern as before, yet almost every single one of them believed that this new poor choice would somehow net a different -- and better -- result. Of course, that almost never happened!
To offer another example, I had a friend once who kept landing one dead end job after another. He kept accepting positions that didn't jibe well with his personality. At the outset, he would brag that this was the perfect job for him and he would climb the ladder of success in no time at all. Yet, in case after case, he soon soured on the "new" position and would quit the job to pursue greener pastures. Those greener pastures never seemed as green once he landed in them.
More often than not, we can each know where we will end up by watching the path we cut along the way. If the destination is due north, but we always seem to find ourselves headed south or east, it should not surprise us when we end up in the middle of nowhere. This is why it is so vitally important to take the time and care to watch where we place each step.
People who don't watch where they are headed are bound to run smack dab into brick walls.
This post is part of a series. For an introduction, go here.
I often worked with women in abusive relationships. Each time one would summons the courage to get away from the current deadbeat partner, they would soon land in the clutches of a new deadbeat. As I worked with them, I would try to point out that they were repeating the same pattern as before, yet almost every single one of them believed that this new poor choice would somehow net a different -- and better -- result. Of course, that almost never happened!
To offer another example, I had a friend once who kept landing one dead end job after another. He kept accepting positions that didn't jibe well with his personality. At the outset, he would brag that this was the perfect job for him and he would climb the ladder of success in no time at all. Yet, in case after case, he soon soured on the "new" position and would quit the job to pursue greener pastures. Those greener pastures never seemed as green once he landed in them.
More often than not, we can each know where we will end up by watching the path we cut along the way. If the destination is due north, but we always seem to find ourselves headed south or east, it should not surprise us when we end up in the middle of nowhere. This is why it is so vitally important to take the time and care to watch where we place each step.
People who don't watch where they are headed are bound to run smack dab into brick walls.
This post is part of a series. For an introduction, go here.
Patterns, patterns...
ReplyDeleteFor many years I was attracted to angry-looking women.
There's no telling why one's body does what it does, or responds the way it does.
This led to many disasters.
Of course it did.
What I consistently ended up with, was a partner who was angry.
I actually didn't enjoy the company of an angry woman. Only the appearance of it, I suppose. And even then, only in the bedroom.
But one is doomed never to learn from history, or even to recognize the warning signs, until one consciously makes a point of doing so.
Most people confuse reality with the appearance of reality. That is basically what is wrong with western society. One becomes addicted to all the things that are the worst for one. One insists, time and again on trying to make a fantasy of reality.
Lao Tzu, (or whomever it was) noticed this tendency even in his day. He spoke about the true nature of things: not the commonly accepted perceptions thereof.