One of the hallmarks of Asperger's Syndrome (AS) is obsessive-compulsive behavior. I'm sure my regular readers have already figured this out as I'm currently obsessing on and compulsively writing about AS itself!!
This aspect of AS constantly manifests itself in my life. I've become quite a little authority on many topics because I've studied them into the ground. While obsessions, in and of themselves, are not necessarily bad things, they can become so or, at least, they can allow you to drive everyone around you stark raving mad. On the plus side, I'm a great teammate to have when playing Trivial Pursuit or other such games. :-)
When I was in college, I became obsessed with American Indians. I chose to skip a spring break trip because I wanted to read a 800+ page book written by Alvin Josephy, Jr. As a slow, plodding reader, it took me the whole of spring break to devour the book. Once I finished it, I probably read another 20 books on the topic.
However, that was a mild obsession compared to the one I developed for the movie, Titanic!! The first time I watched the James Cameron epic, I was spellbound. I immediately went out to buy the video so I could watch it again anytime I desired to. But my desire became obsessive and I watched the entire 3+ hour film or substantial portions of it for 54 consecutive days!
According to my poor wife, I was almost in a trance. I slept little. I ate little. I bathed little. Almost every conversation I engaged in featured Titanic front and center. She kept telling me to turn off the VCR and move on to something else. I wanted to, but I just couldn't seem to quit watching it.
Finally, after nearly 2 months, I was able to turn off the VCR. My wife thought this episode was over with. Oh, but it wasn't! Instead of watching a fictionalized movie, I purchased almost every book I could find on the topic -- in the end, my library featured over 20 such books. I read each of them from cover-to-cover.
In between the books, I scoured the internet. I downloaded a Titanic screensaver, video and audio clips from the movie, portions of the soundtrack, and even interviews with the stars of the film. All in all, this obsession lasted nearly 6 months. I was finally able to pry myself away from it only when a new obsession popped up.
Beyond these sorts of manifestations, I've had a life long fear of being contaminated with poison. When I'm forced to apply anti-flea applications on my dogs, I bet the whole process would probably appear hysterical to most people.
Though you squeeze the gunk directly on the dogs skin, it obviously doesn't poison the dog! I've watched our vets do it many times and rarely does one of them wear gloves. However, when I have to do it, I double glove my hands. When I finish, I wash my hands thoroughly several times. Yet, no matter how many insane precautions I take, I'm always certain I've poisoned myself and I worry incessantly -- sometimes for hours at a time -- that something dreadful is going to happen next.
A few years back, one of my doctors suggested a prescription medicine to help control these feelings. Of course, I wouldn't agree to that at all because I have a fear of prescription medicines! All licensed drugs have side affects and I'm convinced that, whatever the side affects are for any given drug, I will have it in spades!!
What makes this aspect of AS so maddening is that, as a generally rational individual, I KNOW that these behaviors, attitudes and beliefs are irrational. I know objectively that I should work to behave differently, but my obsessive-compulsive constitution simply will not allow my rational mind to overule my automatic urges.
The only solace I can take from all this is that I'm not an axemurder, child molester, rapist or voyeur. My obsessions-compulsions don't affect most people and the person they do affect the most -- my loving wife -- has shown to have the patience of Job.
This aspect of AS constantly manifests itself in my life. I've become quite a little authority on many topics because I've studied them into the ground. While obsessions, in and of themselves, are not necessarily bad things, they can become so or, at least, they can allow you to drive everyone around you stark raving mad. On the plus side, I'm a great teammate to have when playing Trivial Pursuit or other such games. :-)
When I was in college, I became obsessed with American Indians. I chose to skip a spring break trip because I wanted to read a 800+ page book written by Alvin Josephy, Jr. As a slow, plodding reader, it took me the whole of spring break to devour the book. Once I finished it, I probably read another 20 books on the topic.
However, that was a mild obsession compared to the one I developed for the movie, Titanic!! The first time I watched the James Cameron epic, I was spellbound. I immediately went out to buy the video so I could watch it again anytime I desired to. But my desire became obsessive and I watched the entire 3+ hour film or substantial portions of it for 54 consecutive days!
According to my poor wife, I was almost in a trance. I slept little. I ate little. I bathed little. Almost every conversation I engaged in featured Titanic front and center. She kept telling me to turn off the VCR and move on to something else. I wanted to, but I just couldn't seem to quit watching it.
Finally, after nearly 2 months, I was able to turn off the VCR. My wife thought this episode was over with. Oh, but it wasn't! Instead of watching a fictionalized movie, I purchased almost every book I could find on the topic -- in the end, my library featured over 20 such books. I read each of them from cover-to-cover.
In between the books, I scoured the internet. I downloaded a Titanic screensaver, video and audio clips from the movie, portions of the soundtrack, and even interviews with the stars of the film. All in all, this obsession lasted nearly 6 months. I was finally able to pry myself away from it only when a new obsession popped up.
Beyond these sorts of manifestations, I've had a life long fear of being contaminated with poison. When I'm forced to apply anti-flea applications on my dogs, I bet the whole process would probably appear hysterical to most people.
Though you squeeze the gunk directly on the dogs skin, it obviously doesn't poison the dog! I've watched our vets do it many times and rarely does one of them wear gloves. However, when I have to do it, I double glove my hands. When I finish, I wash my hands thoroughly several times. Yet, no matter how many insane precautions I take, I'm always certain I've poisoned myself and I worry incessantly -- sometimes for hours at a time -- that something dreadful is going to happen next.
A few years back, one of my doctors suggested a prescription medicine to help control these feelings. Of course, I wouldn't agree to that at all because I have a fear of prescription medicines! All licensed drugs have side affects and I'm convinced that, whatever the side affects are for any given drug, I will have it in spades!!
What makes this aspect of AS so maddening is that, as a generally rational individual, I KNOW that these behaviors, attitudes and beliefs are irrational. I know objectively that I should work to behave differently, but my obsessive-compulsive constitution simply will not allow my rational mind to overule my automatic urges.
The only solace I can take from all this is that I'm not an axemurder, child molester, rapist or voyeur. My obsessions-compulsions don't affect most people and the person they do affect the most -- my loving wife -- has shown to have the patience of Job.
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