Thursday, January 17, 2013

I Miss Her, But...

Trey Smith

When I was first diagnosed with Schizotypal Personality Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome, it answered a lot of my questions about the difficulties I had experienced mt whole life, particularly in trying to comprehend the social world. As I think is typical, my focus was on those negative differences between me and most people. I saw what comes natural to most folks and lamented that these same traits and characteristics do not come natural to me at all.

However, once I was able to wrap my head around these innate differences, I began to see that there are many positives as well. One of these positives is that, after a difficult transition period, I tend to adapt to whatever the new routine is. I certainly may not like the change and the potentiality of the change will cause me much anxiety, but once the change has occurred, I get on with it in fairly good order.

While there is no question that I miss my wife a lot, I am handling her absence and my lack of transportation better than I expected. In some ways, my usual routine hasn't really been altered THAT much. I don't go grocery shopping everyday and I have a lot more responsibilities around the house. Anything that needs to be accomplished must be undertaken by me because I can't seem to convince the dogs or the cat to help wash the dishes or fetch clothes out the dryer! ;-)

In this particular instance, being a natural introvert is very beneficial. Della and I talk several times by phone per day, but not interacting with others doesn't bother me. I think I'll be okay as long as I can avoid panic attacks (which often strike for no apparent reason). I'm still a tad bit nervous about how I might singularly handle a panic attack, but I won't know until one strikes.

Maybe after I encounter my first such attack, I'll pen a completely different post!

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